Why Still Pray?

Image above from Pondering Principles.

Often, I doubt prayer---I mean, prayer as the modern church describes it to be. Prayer's meaning has been adulterated (or abused) for ages so that people lose sense of what it really is. Prayer is often thought of as a means of rubbing Aladdin's lamp so the genie can be released and fulfill our wishes.

So, it often seems useless. You get nothing at all. Or else, you get what you never asked for. And smart pastors explain this away by saying it probably isn't God's will, or, if God closes a window he opens a huge door or gate. It's like a kid asking for candy but the dentist says it's bad for his teeth. Well, isn't that what dentists are for, so tooth decay can be prevented (or treated once toothache sets in) even while kids enjoy some candies?

The solution is not to get rid of sweets altogether. Forfeit kids of candies? That's cruel. It should be balanced eating of sweets and knowing how to clean the teeth properly after eating. So, the answer is yes to the question should kids be allowed to eat sweets or candies. Everything in moderation.

I often ask God why he has never answered my major, urgent prayers and yet he gives me what I never asked for. I've been asking him to prosper my blogs and e-books so I can derive my major income source from them (this way I won't depend on specific persons for my income but I can say my income source comes only from God thru my blogs and e-books).

I'm tired of having my income derived from tithes alone or handouts from "supporters" alone. I would like to say together with Apostle Paul that my own hands feed me through the grace of God alone---and never rely on anyone for food. It's lots better that way because nowadays, your "supporters" and "givers" in church can suddenly get smart and try to control you and the church just because they have "invested so much" already---though I do not have these problems in church. But I still want to earn on my own as Paul did.

Some moneyed supporters can suddenly get wild ideas and begin to think they're "paying" you a salary (and you're their employee), instead of thinking that giving tithes and offerings is really an act of returning to God what belongs to him and which he has apportioned irrevocably to his servants. So far, my disciples understand this well. Nonetheless, it's better to be self-supporting with my own tent-making activity than rely on people, even my well-taught core disciples.

Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD. [Jer.17]

And many, in fact, have become enslaved by their "supporters" and "givers" and turned away from God without realizing it. It's the supporters calling the shots in church, not God anymore.

And why does God give me things I never prayed for---fatty liver (even if I'm a health buff and have been vegetarian for some 3 months now), SVT, gastritis, even slight edema. and ear defect that has been making me so uncomfortable these years with ringing inside my ear and imbalance, myoma and polyps in my dear wife. I NEVER asked for them and yet they're given me. It's really strange. It didn't take any effort. But no matter how I pour myself in prayer asking for what I really need, nothing happens.

Then I see drunkards and those who smoke unceasingly but who never seem to have health issues. One smoker and drunkard even boasted how he never had to deal with any health issues in life---never been hospitalized, he said. And he looked at me disdainfully, knowing me to be a health buff because of my belief in God. Due to this kind of persecution, I felt God was about to heal me completely to shame that unbeliever and prove him wrong (and so he would know that the Lord is God). But nothing happened. That smoker and drunkard won.

Yup, most smokers and drunkards suffer in the end, but that's the point---they only suffer in the end, while I have been suffering since. I hope to be granted relief and real prosperity soon because I have been acquainted with suffering from childhood. I have experienced being poor and treated like trash in grade school, high school and college. Against my will I opted taking antibiotics for a long time (against doctor's advice) because antibiotics daily were cheaper compared to the long-term treatment I needed. That's all due to poverty. Although I can still say, God has been faithful to me and my family.

Though I can teach well about prayer, I don't understand it.

Why would he keep me from getting what I pray for and instead give me what I never ask for and do not need? God did that on some occasions in the bible to prove to certain individuals that "the Lord is God." But he need not do that to me because I know for sure that the Lord is God. I have no doubt about it and in fact been living that truth since 1980. 

I can tell you deep and hidden things other church people do not know of but which God reveals to me on a regular basis (in fact, as regular as each time I open my bible). But I can't understand prayer. To be sure, I have deep knowledge and wisdom about prayer, but still I profess I don't understand it. I and my wife have experienced signs and wonders with our prayers for other people, instant miraculous healing, some even accompanied by angelic activity. I speak in wonderful angelic tongues. But still I cannot claim I understand prayer that well.

Prayer is such a deep mystery, and yet it is as simple as natural breathing. Even before a word is released from my mouth, the Lord knows it completely in its full and accurate context. Sometimes I ask God in my subconscious, why then should I pray anymore? Often, I just have to moan and groan and the Spirit of God can take it from there and transpose it according to God's will. Fact, there are lots of times when all I need is to glance at the Lord and he sees it all. Prayer is exciting and yet I don't understand it.

Why should I pray when God has not been answering my prayers for years? Shouldn't I just drop everything and let him do as he pleases? Anyway, nothing can stop him from doing what he wants. Not even Moses' pleading for his contemporary Israelites stopped God from killing them all in the desert eventually. And Jesus did pray that God forgive his crucifiers---his killers---because they didn't know what they were doing. But the Father didn't answer him yes. The murderers all had to be accountable for their crime against Jesus, unless they repented and surrendered their lives fully to Christ. World history tells us Herod gave no sign that he repented of any sin.

I understand it all, and yet I don't. But then, yes, I do.

These great people in the bible mostly didn't get their prayers answered but they continued to talk with God anyway. They continued to walk with him.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.

Then, why still pray when there's a chance you will never get any answer?

But then God assures us, who ever asks receives. The Syro-Phoenician woman who, in God's time table, wasn't supposed to get a miracle did get it because of her radical faith and prayer. Jesus tells us if we believe we have received it, it shall be ours.

Moreover, Jesus gives us a hint. For a time (we don't know how long) God will "keep putting off" the prayers of the faithful. For whatever reason, he alone knows. It's for various reasons for each individual. It may be for a while or even for a lifetime. But he will surely answer---and in Christ it's always a yes. In Christ, there is no such thing as no for an answer.

And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? [Luke 18. 7]

Thus, even without any answer or a glimpse of hope, I keep talking to him day and night. Sometimes when it gets tiring, I don't mention it at all. We talk about other things instead, and that gives me satisfaction---like what dopamine neurotransmitters do to give us a sense of well being. It's so important to have sweet-nothing talks with God as sweets in the natural world are what trigger the brain to release dopamine. It's something like that in the spirit when we have sweet times with God instead of dwelling on problems. Spiritual dopamines are released. See?

Habakkuk puts it this way:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. [3.18]

Thus, this is what prayer really is---it's not really "asking God" for something, though asking can be part of it. It's not a way of getting from God what you want, although on a carnal level this is what prayer is for most Christians who think they understand what prayer is all about. Prayer is being with God, and this may or may not involve talking with him. Just being with God in silence involves conversations no earthly being can understand. Best of all, just surrendering everything to God, resting in his presence and goodness, is prayer enough that often needs no uttering of any earthly words.

So, why still pray? Why still pray as the heathens do?